Why giving a woman 4 hugs a day will help keep their estrogen in regular supply and increase. He talked to all his friends and everyone told him to end it. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to say and providing a particular kind of loving support. Sometimes, people dont even know what their needs are. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. But speaking as a woman, when I read in your book how women really need that female bonding and camaraderie, and how they spent all day bonding with other women many decades ago, I was picturing an old fashioned sewing circle. His point in this book is that we dont know what we need to know because our parents didnt tell us and they didnt tell us because we are living a life that would have mystified them entirely. This is one of the reasons why relationships are the ultimate foundation of growth. Dr. John Gray. This all seems pretty commonsense to me. But it feels like everything we do is for you and not me. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. On the other hand, it is not a small service he provides if, as has been my experience, doing what he says to do makes everything better. PR.com: We have a fourteen month old. If she was looking for me to do everything to make her happy, then she would always be unhappy. PR.com: And its such an iconic brand now. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. So the greater the stress in our lives, the more the differences [between men and women] will tend to show up. This information is eye-opening and answers many of the questions married couples have been asking for years. Women need to pause when they feel themselves cranking up the grievance machine. How do you know? My answer in those years was, Ive got a counseling practice, and Im married myself, and women almost all say the same things (laughs) about their husbands, and about themselves. There were themes that are very universal in almost every household. Our community includes doctors, healers and integrative practitioners dedicated to helping you heal naturally. John Gray: It is missing and it needs to be created more and more. Gray runs through things women prepare for: meals, children, their appearance, relationship, and so on. Please contact us anytime at help@healcircle.org for any questions or to just connect and share your thoughts! John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. Then speed that up with computers, Internet and cell phones; our lifestyle is so much faster and busier than before. 2Go Travel; Cokaliong Shipping Lines; Maayo Shipping Lines Why it's so important for women to give men space so that they can build their testosterone levels back up. dr john gray wife, bonnie 27 Feb. dr john gray wife, bonnie If a man said, Women are just desserts, that would be very offensive to a woman. In that sense, there is symmetry to their roles. Please read our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy carefully, by using our Website, you agree that you have read and consented to our Terms of Use. For your testosterone level to stay that high, you have to feel confident that you are loved. The key is not to ignore the feelings, but share them with people who are not the target of feelings. If youre just about to win something then naturally youre going to take the next step. Bonnie needs to say how she feels and it isnt going to be pretty. We dont seem to be able to enjoy that same female camaraderie that women did decades ago, like at the turn of the twentieth century. In contrast, the soul mate relationship provides the unique emotional support to fully express our authentic self which includes both our masculine and feminine qualities. The genie in a bottle method: A couple takes 10 minutes to allow the feminine partner to share little things the other can do for them like get a cup of tea or help answer phone calls. John Gray: Right, and on the surface that would sound very thin to some people, unless you measure and see that during a massage her oxytocin levels rebuild, and then she is able to cope with stress. Its not like I have all this thought out (He asked what she thought they should spend the money on). - Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus. How we regulate and respond to stress determines our heart health. It raises dopamine which can be quite addictive. What say you? I dont know. In the next post, I am going to show you what happens when I actually act on those sentiments, rather than just asking them abstractly. Pinnwnde sind ideal zum Speichern von Bildern und Videoclips. But there are a few people out there who will just naturally fit you, and not require you to change how to relate to each other in order to thrive. Yours works fine. (If youre looking to strengthen your current relationship or finally attract the love of your life, youre in the right place.). Thats what she should have done in the buying the computer scenario. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. John: I really want to understand your feelings and it really is hard for me. PR.com: I cant speak for men. John and Bonnie Gray, Just Doin TheirJobs. I created BREATHE after my own dark nights of the soul and years of research traveling the world in search of the truth about self-healing. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. And was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. Know what theyre thinking & what to do about it. I hear all these stories of women in their sixties who get awakened and they go, Gee, I want something, and I just dont have it with my partner. When couples are getting divorced they find reasons why theyre getting divorced, but the bottom line is theyre not having sex. We dont have as much sex as when we were dating (laughs), but we have sex a couple of times a week and its fantastic. That book did well, self-published. Its not a big deal but I just want you to know about it .. There is a middle ground where one isnt interested and the other one is, and there is anger that there is no reciprocation. Our lives are marred by fast-paced schedules and a barrage of technology, and gender roles are no longer clearly defined, but there are simple adjustments that can be made to re-balance male and female hormonal harmony. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. I was disappointed or frustrated key is to add emotions as opposed to statements like you dont care. Its not like youre going to just lock yourself up in a room and get away. It cant be all that much fun to be Bonnie Gray, the wife of John Gray, the founding genius of the Mars/Venus industry. John Gray is the founder of the now vast Mars/Venus industries: books, seminars, websites, and so on. Now lets look at what Bonnie Grays responsibilities are. Heart disease in woman is due to high stress levels. John Gray Speech. Women before menopause require 10 times more estrogen than men. We want to be the whip cream. They have been happily married for over 30 years and have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. I have a recent example of that one. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. so . Men need to do something that makes them feel successful. Bonnie: "There Is Life After Breast Cancer" | Book of John Im still amazed at the relevance thatMen Are from Marsstill has, 25 years after it was published! You are going to buy what you want and thats it. Part of what this knowledge does is it creates room for me to be a guy and for her to be a woman. John Gray: Every woman does. It just feels like you dont care about me. Now lets look at what Bonnie Grays responsibilities are. WebHe is a recipient of the coveted the Smart Marriages Impact Award. Then she was all interested in how close I came to getting hit and how understandable it was that I was late and how wonderful it was that I got home safely. We are on a mission to end chronic disease and create a New World of Health. Our foundation status ensures we are not motivated by profit over people. Heres the hard one. Why women experience automatic negative thoughts when they are in their masculine rather than feminine self. I think its a very very young Bonnie Gray. For the past 25 years, John has worked in manufacturing and facility maintenance, and he is now a facilities manager overseeing over 2.8 million square feet. 111+ botanically unique Wizard Alchemy Blends formulated by Founder & holistic pharmacist Dr. Nick Berry, PharmD. In some cases, that denial of femininity shows up as liking to hang out with guys. Then our most special support is our intimate relationship. The Getty Images design is a trademark of Getty Images. For men, retirement means 2 to 3 years to a heart attack, according to statistics. She engages her husband as a helper and a hearer and promises her gratitude for his work when she is done. For men their hearts open when they are successful in helping others. It has tried to feminize men. When something seems amiss, and someone is acting irrationally, you should immediately try to get to the source of the problem, rather than reacting to the symptoms. We can even get addicted to complaining. A womans level is in balance when she does. Preparing comes next. If people arent reminded of how they continually create the problems that they experience in life, then they feel victimized, and of course the love stops flowing and they want to end the relationship. What has changed for Dr. John since his first interview on Wellness Force. Any time a man has difficult challenge something hes good at and enjoys doing hes testosterone goes up. What inspired this book (Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice) is the research that was done at UCLA on oxytocin. Attract the right kind of relationships into your life. When the sexual attraction is gone it is really hard to stay in a relationship today. I got them opening up and sharing feelings at a deeper level than they knew they had. Everyone has the power to create fulfilling, passionate, dynamic relationships if they're willing to show up and do the inner work. For that reason, Bonnie Gray, as she appears in the Mars/Venus books, comes off as petulant and unreasonable. Hier knnen Sie Inhalte sammeln, auswhlen und Anmerkungen zu Ihren Dateien hinterlegen. They have three grown daughters and three grandchildren. My wife and I have been together for thirty years, and weve been married twenty-five years. Asking for his patience (her job) and listening receptively to whatever feelings she has (his job) are both collegial acts. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Not someone who is going to take me from zero to one hundred. Not very much time, as I recall. Why it's important for men to do things and be busy to help them feel more, Various exercises and things partners can do to heal and create a, Why men need to spend more time alone and do something that challenges them in a healthy manner like an ice bath or a. According to John Gray, PhD, relationships expert and author and creator of the Mars and Venus franchise, the answer is yes. There are so many things we need to spend money on in the house and you are buying a computer. That wasnt the right part. Early man had to learn to duck and dodge his enemies in battle, for instance, so it should come naturally for a husband to duck and dodge his wifes unreasonable tongue-lashing. Streamline your workflow with our best-in-class digital asset management system. something shes enjoys loves and feels safe. How we might interpret things that bother us in a relationship to mean, Oh, they must not love me., Why being in both our logical and emotional minds at the same time can lead to great, How we start to lose our logic when we begin and stay in a. His most recent book is, He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on. Do you want to be seen as insecure or as a child? We are no longer limited by the traditional roles of hunter/gatherer or breadwinner/homemaker. I ask questions like, Is it really fair that I have to put up with this kind of abuse over and over?, I ask, Is this really the best she can do?, I ask, Is it always going to be like this.. In this in-depth interview, best-selling relationships author John Gray, PhD discusses how modern life is wreaking havoc on our delicate hormonal balance, and how differentiating male and female hormones are largely responsible for feminine and masculine behavioral patterns that we observe in our partners, much to our frustration and misinterpretation. Okay, so the first response was not as thoughtful as it should have been. Gray married self-help author Barbara De Angelis and they divorced in 1984, after which he re-evaluated his ideas about relationships. As oxytocin levels have dropped we have a massive drop in fertility in women. Its kind of like being on a cruise, but doing personal growth work and talking and sharing a lot. If a guy feels guilty for taking time away, or if he just doesnt take time away, then gradually his testosterone levels get lower and lower and his interest in the relationship becomes less and less. I disagree with nearly everything in them, with one exception. Dr. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. John Gray: Well, if you go to indigenous cultures, for example, women are rarely upset with their husbands the way that in the West we are. Bonnie: Of course you do. Sometimes people say, We were divorced, and we got back together after one of us read the book.. Bio, age, children, job, net worth. - Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus, When a woman is on her masculine side after working her job all day, she holds onto negative emotions. WebDr. PR.com: Ill admit I was making that mistake. So men with these big bellies lose their sexual desire. What is the core of women? Why men flee to protect their partner from the fight and the dragon inside of them. HealCircle is a platform for doctors to offer actionable affordable health programs. You have finally let your diplomatic character get the better of you. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. So thats how this round ends with a woman like Bonnie. Women need caring, understanding, respect, and reassurance. it gives you 30 days of free weekly tracking of your moods, diet, meds, symptoms, notes, goals and gratitude. PR.com: In todays world many women, myself included, feel that other women can be petty or competitive. Ive dated dramatic and overly emotional women and its just not for me. Everybody kept saying, Why? Bonnie is Johns wife and in his books, she needs to act in ways that I ask questions like, Is it really fair that I have to put up with this kind of abuse over and over? I ask, Is this really the best she can do? I ask, Is it always going to be like this.. John Gray: I dont see it as a problem at all when women relate to men more than women. He is asking them to be less aware of their feelings and more aware of their wifes feelings. John Gray: It gets to the root of the matter, and then we can honor those differences because many of them are physiological. PR.com: What are your thoughts on traditional couples counseling, considering that it doesnt seem to touch on their being a physiological reason why men have certain behavioral tendencies, and women have other behavioral tendencies? John Gray lives in Northern California where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. What to do and not to do when a female partner is upset. . Oh, please! Poor me is addictive, and releases the wrong hormones. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Our Complex Modern World. Asa bystander, I ask the kinds of questions I am going to look at in the next post in this series. 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